Love Within
by Mismatched.Harmony
Summary: Set during New Moon.Before Bella's birthday,Edward lets all of their bounderies down.Having hurt her, he leaves.She has to deal withso much:heartbreak,school,Victioria,werewolves,and...a baby. Will Bella handle being pregnant without her baby's father.
1. That Wonderful Night

**Authors note: the plot of this story is incredibly cliché I know. But no lie I dreamed of this exact story the night after I read Breaking Dawn. A lot of people have done this story with different twists but this is my version, it's also the first fanfic I started working on. REVIEW PLEASE! I literally start dancing when I see reviews. **

**Chapter 1: That Wonderful Night**

**Bella POV**

Everything in my life was perfect. Well that was what I thought. My grades were good and I had friends at school. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Edward, my perfect Adonis god, and I were in love. Our relationship went much further than most little high school hook-ups, really I wanted him forever. That part is made very convenient by the fact that he is a vampire.

If only he wasn't so stubborn about changing me. And by my personal request, I wanted Edward to be that one to change me. To him, it was way too dangerous; he said that he would probably end up killing me. To Edward, my blood was sweeter and more tempting to him than anything in the world, his own personal brand of heroin. He burned every day just to be with me. Me, I lived in rainiest place in the US and on some occasions had my life put at risk. But to both of us, it was more than worth it.

Edward's shoulders were tense beneath his rain coat as we walked to class and sat down beside each other. His face was cold, and his eyes vacantly stared at the desk in front of him. He had been wallowing for over a week now. Still upset that he had hurt me. To me, the all-body bruises and few cracked ribs were a completely acceptable exchange for what I had gotten in return. While teacher was droning on, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to that wonderful night.

_I was resting on my bed reading when I looked up and saw him climbing gracefully through the window. I felt my mouth go into an automatic smile and watched his do the same. Edward's beauty always stunned me. It was even more so now since he had been gone for a several day hunting trip. He ran over at a speed that was faster than human facility and pressed his lips gently against mine. My heart beat went erratic at his touch and I felt him smile into our kiss. _

"_I missed you" he said as he moved down to my neck. _

_My reply was just a contented sigh and to wrap my arms around his body. He slid one arm around my shoulders and placed the other against the side of head, tangling his long fingers in my hair. I heard him breathe deeply then pullback to look at me._

"_Where's Charlie?"_

"_He got called out to Seattle to help train some new police men; going over traffic laws and basic things. He won't be back until late tomorrow."_

_His eye's got a playful gleam in them. "Well then we don't have to be as quiet. "_

"_Edward Cullen, don't you da-" I didn't even get the words out before he was tickling me. My laughter filled the room. I saw the corners of his perfect mouth lift into smile. "Please," I managed to gasp out, "Edward stop it." I tried to sound firm but it was hard when he was the reason my pulse was going double time and my heart was filled happiness._

_He complied anyways. I had just started to realize that our position had changed from sitting on the edge of my bed to me lying down with him leaning over, straddling me, a position that wouldn't have looked very innocent if someone were to walk in on us._

_His expression changed as he seemed to realize our proximity. His eyebrows pulled together and he stared at me intently. It looked like he was battling between something in his mind. Within a second his eyes turned warm and he leaned down to kiss me._

_I gasped in surprise. Never had we gone even a little pass his distinct self control boundary. When ever he felt that he was losing control of his desire for me, he'd pull away. It seemed that we had run far past that line. His entire stone body was pressed gently against mine. I was able to feel the chill of his skin through our clothes. _

_I wasn't going to complain. He didn't even try to stop me when I put my arms around him and pulled him closer, deepening our kiss. In fact he did just the opposite. Sliding his had under me and pushed my chest up closer to his. We kissed each other with such a passion that I felt like all of my nerves would combust. He seemed to realize my need for air and went down to kiss beneath my jaw line._

_His hand rubbed in circles, massaging my back. It drifted down to the hem of my shirt and hesitated. His glass lips stilled, then moved back to my mouth as his hand plunged under my shirt, gliding his fingers over my ribs, slowly going to bring it up over my head._

_His sudden action made me freeze. I felt my eyes go wide with shock. Everything that was happening seemed to be pointing to one thing. It wasn't that I didn't want him. No, I wanted him, _all _of him, more than anything else. But what about everything he had been supporting all the time that I had known him. All of his carefully set rules and boundaries. What happened to them?_

"_Edward," I whispered, "we… I mean… did you, um, reconsider your…" my voice drifted off but he knew exactly what I was talking about. He sat up and rested his hands against my sides._

"_Bella I love you." His eyes were intense but still loving. His velvet voice confirmed every word that he spoke. "You are the most important thing to me ever. You're my world. And Bella I want you. Right now. Your body is tempting me much more than your blood. Tonight I'm letting go, letting go of trying so hard to resist you. But Bella please, you have to promise me that if anything, anything at all, happens and I hurt you tell me. I just want to try."_

_I was absolutely speechless. No words I could say would show what I was feeling. So instead I grabbed his shirt collar, and pulled him down to kiss him firmly on the lips._

"_I love you Edward" was the last thing I said, before letting the night run its course. _

"Bella, Bella?" I was snapped out of my trance when Edward was calling me in the dead, emotionless voice that he so recently acquired. I gave a quick glance around the room and saw that everyone had already left. So I quickly got my things together and went to where he was holding the door for me.

------------------------------

The ride back to my house was silent and awkward. Edward wordlessly got into the front seat of his Volvo, waited until I was belted in and sped out of the parking lot. I cast a glace at him to see if his stiff posture had relaxed at all. It hadn't. His fists tightened on the steering wheel with what ever thought had just come into his mind, and though he tried to mask it, I could see a trace of agony in his expression. If he needed the time to mope and get over what had happened, then I would give him his space. But my limit was being tested. Three more days, that's all he had until I'd confront him. And thought I'd never tell him, his cold behavior was tearing at my heart.

We had arrived back at my house. He, being the gentleman that he was, sped around the car to my door at vampire speed to open it for me. I stepped out of the car. But being me I wasn't able to do something as simple as that without injuring my self. My foot caught on the base of the car frame and was going to land flat on my face. Edward cold hands shot out and gripped my sides as caught me and set me upright.

The moment I was balanced his hands went back to his sides and he looked at me with a worried expression. Probably thinking he had gripped my too hard or put pressure on one of fading bruises I had. I gave him a small smile that thanked him and reassured him that I was fine. He didn't look totally convinced but let it go.

"I'd better be going Bella."

I'd have been surprised if this hadn't been the routine for the last four days.

"Will you be coming back tonight?" He hadn't snuck in through my window since the night Charlie was gone. The dark circles under my eyes showed the lack of sleep I'd been getting. My bed just wasn't the same without Edward in it to hold me in his arms and hum me to sleep. It was too warm.

He just shook his head.

"Well then I'll see you tomorrow at school." I replied trying not to let the hurt seep into my voice.

Edward nodded. I surprised him by taking a step forward and wrapping my arms tightly around his midsection. His eyes widened and he stood straighter for a small moment. The he gingerly placed his arms around my waist, handling me so gently as if he thought the wind could blow me away.

Just as some of tension started to leave him he pulled away from our embrace.

"I love you Edward."

He gave me a look that was so similar to the expression he held in the car, like he was trying to smother a painful thought.

"Bella." He simply said along with a curt nod. Then he drove away at a much higher speed then legal.


	2. The Toughest Choice

**Chapter 2: The Toughest Choice**

**Edward POV**

I was forcing myself to press the gas peddle, to speed away my love's home at 90 miles an hour. Every instinct screamed at me to race back to her and assure that I loved her, to smooth out that worried furrow in between her eyes. But I couldn't. For her own good, I had to leave her. She would be safe in Forks, so safe. The only reason that she wasn't now was because of me.

A monster. A lowlife selfish monster. That was exactly what I was. Allowing my own selfish desires to come before the safety of my Bella.

She didn't blame me of course. She brushed it off as if it was no big deal. No big deal? How could she think that, the evidence was right there. Marring her beautiful body were bruises. Not just the type someone would get my bumping your knee on the coffee table, but deep purple, painful splotches. Not only that but she had 3 cracked ribs. How could I have let this happen? I was supposed to be her protector, her vampire guardian angel. Yet she was hurt because of me. Again.

That magnificent, no no no, regretful night was constantly playing in my mind, over and over again. This was one time in my existence where I both treasured and loathed my vampire memory. It let me relive every moment, every touch and the words passed between us as lovers. But it was also the constant reminder of the things that pained my already dead heart; that I was no good for Bella, that in the end I would always hurt her.

After a weekend hunting with my brothers I didn't even bother to get my car from my house before returning to Bella. I ran to her as fast I my legs would carry me. As I reached her home her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, knocking me breathless, despite me not needing to breath. But it was that same irresistible fragrance that came off of her skin that signified the one person that had changed my world. The being that gave me light and warmth in my damned existence. My entire mood lifted knowing that I would be seeing her in just a moment.

I climbed the side of her home in less that a second and gazed in at her through her window. Bella was just sitting on her bed reading a Jane Austin book, wearing a pair of soft grey sweats and a simple t-shirt. But in my opinion she looked like most beautiful, sexy woman that has ever graced this earth. Her mahogany hair cascaded down her back in silky waves. The deep blue of her shirt perfectly off-setting her porcelain skin while her pants hung dangerously low on the soft curves of her hips.

Pure desire for her washed through me, her scent just enhancing the feeling.

Her whole face lit up as I climbed through her always unlocked window. Human vicinity just wasn't fast enough for me. I needed to have her lips on mine.

There really was no way to describe to anyone how kissing Bella was: warm, soft, loving, passionate, tempting. None of those adjectives even came close.

"I missed you." I murmured against her skin as I moved to the sensitive skin of her neck. Her sigh blew warm air onto my hair and her arms moved to pull me closer. I took a deep breath.

_Ahhh. _Her blood made my throat light on fire. Not just the pain of thirst but a deep smoldering lust. My self-control needed to be close to perfect in this particular area, but no matter how hard I fought, it was noticeably weakening.

I was barely able to notice with her so close but I realized that Charlie wasn't here. Both his scent and his snores form the room next door were absent.

"Where's Charlie?"

"He got called out to Seattle to help train some new police men; going over traffic laws and basic things. He won't be back until late tomorrow."

This news made me mush more excited than it should have. I had Bella with me, in an empty house, free from an over protective father and a family of super hearing vampires. _May as well take advantage of it,_ I thought.

I gave her a wicked smile and though she protested I began to tickle her. Moving my fingers where knew she was most sensitive. I smiled as I listened to her musical laughter. She had lain down on her bed and I swung my leg over her, straddling her lap.

She began to beg me to stop. She was practically gasping for breath now. I placed my hands on the bed on either side of her head, leaning over and gazing into the chocolate depths of her eyes. They widened slightly as she looked at how I was positioned over her.

My need for her, not her blood but _her,_ was growing by the second. To be with her without boundaries or worries. What if we tried? My fantasies began: pulling off her shirt, marveling in the creaminess of her skin, letting my fingers run down her body, over her breasts, trailing my hands to the waistband of her sweats…

_No! Stop it Edward. You'll hurt her. You have to be cautious not to break her spine when you just give her a hug! You won't ever be able to have her like that. _

The very thought of abstaining from Bella her whole life was practically torture in the state of mind that I was in.

_And why can't I? _ My less noble side argued. _I'd be careful, monitor my every move. When it comes to Bella, my family says that my self control can rival Carlisle's. _

_But what if you slip? What happens when you're caught up in the moment of passion? It would be so easy to bruise her, or break a bone, or _bite her.

_That won't happen. Think of everything we've faced together. I love her too much for any thing like that to happen. I _will_ stay in control. _My mind was made up by then.

It was times like this when I was glad I was a vampire. If I hadn't memorized the road then I would surely drive into a tree or something. My mind was far away, it was back with Bella on that night.

I shook my head trying to banish the memories. It was useless. The memories and thoughts of that night continued to flood my mind. Our intimacy had been sweet and awkward at first but so filled with love that neither of us cared in the slightest. But I continued to hold her tighter, gripping her closer to me. Pressed fully against her but wanting to be closer still. Moving and experimenting and loving together. I was the best night of my existence.

I couldn't believe it. It seemed that everything in the world was perfect. Nothing could ruin the high that I was riding.

The ecstasy of that night ended exactly 48 seconds after we had stopped and she had fallen asleep in my arm. I gazed adoringly down at her and gapped in shock. Large bruises were already coving her practically everywhere I could see. She was laying on top of me chest down, so I had a clear view to the prominent hand prints that were spread around her back. Gingerly, I laid my hand over one of them. A perfect match.

Although she slept with a tiny smile on her lips, her breathing seemed fractionally more labored. My medical degrees kicked in as I felt the sides of her torso.

My eyes were wide with horror and my conscience weighed down with guilt. I could feel that I had either broken or cracked several of her ribs.

She couldn't keep living like this, constantly in danger because of me. I wouldn't let her. I would leave her and let her be safe and live a normal life.

Even if it killed me.


	3. Unwanted Farewell

Disclaimer: Well I forgot one of these for chapters one and two so here it is. I am not Stephanie Meyer and therefore don't own Edward. (No matter how much I may hope I do.)

Enjoy the Chapter!

**Chapter 3: Unwanted Farewell**

**Bella POV**

I woke up sleepily after another Edwardless night. When sat up and stretched I fell out of bed and landed on my hip. Oh so it was going to be one of those days.

It already was that type of day; I had been dreading it for months. Today was just another mark that set Edward and me just that much further apart. _No, I'm not going to think about the day. I'm just going to hope that it passes quickly._

Getting up, I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes were prominent on my pallid skin. These restless nights were taking their toll on me.

I went through my morning routine and drove to school. I didn't see Edward until lunch.

"So Edward," he looked up from where he was playing with his tray of food, "when will Alice and Jasper be returning from Denali?"

He didn't look pleased that I'd asked this question. "I'm not sure." He avoided my eyes by playing with his lunch prop again. And that was all he said on the topic.

The rest of the day passed without event. We walked to class together; silently and always at a two foot distance. But at the end of the day Edward said that he was going to meet me at my house right after school.

I pulled into the drive-way while he parked in Charlie's spot. Oh no, he wasn't planning on staying long. When ever he did stay for a long time he would always park by the curb.

We just stood in my drive-way staring at each other for and immeasurable amount of time. What had happened to the man I love? Of course he was beautiful, but he was just so different since the whole sex thing. His marble skin had lost some of its glow. His eyes, usually a melted golden, had hardened and were void of any emotion.

"Bella we need to talk."

"Alright, let's go inside." It was beginning to drizzle.

"No right here is fine."

"Okay…" I was becoming wary.

He took a deep breath. "Bella, my family and I are leaving."

His words didn't even affect me. It was a defense mechanism. The meaning of the sentence didn't register in my mind.

"What? What did you say?"

"We're leaving Bella moving far away from Forks. We can't stay here any longer. People have begun to notice our immortality. I mean Carlisle is posing as over thirty, he barely looks twenty three. But don't worry Bella. We won't interfere with your life. It will be as if I never existed."

I was numb throughout his monologue. He couldn't be leaving. No. I couldn't live without him.

"Alice and Jasper, they're…they aren't coming back are they."

He shook his head once. "They're all gone. I'm just here to say farewell."

Despair racked through me. My best friend was gone. And I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. Not just Alice, but all of the Cullens, the family that I loved. They were the future that I had chosen. My future with Edward. But he was leaving. My knees started to go weak.

"Edward, no. No. You can't do this. What about me? You're just going to leave me? Edward, I'll come with you. I'll move with your family. Just-"

He spoke quickly, cutting me off.

"Bella I don't want you to come with us."

I frantically searched his face for anything to show that he was lying. His eyebrows furrowed, mouth set in a hard line, I saw nothing but confirmation.

"Oh, well that changes things." My body tensed up and I stood up straighter. How I managed to keep my voice from shaking I have no clue. Inside I was screaming, wailing in heart break.

_Stop being so selfish, doesn't love you. Let him leave. Begging him to stay wouldn't help anything. _

"Goodbye, Bella." His eyes smoldered as he whispered his last words to me. "Be safe."

Then, so fast that I didn't even see him move, he was gone. That is when I blacked out.

------------------------------

I woke to the sound of someone yelling on the phone. Every thing around me was muffled. It felt like I was underwater. I forced myself to open my eyes, so that I could wake up from the nightmare that was this afternoon. Through my clouded vision I saw my dad walking across the living room back and forth. Wait, when did I get to the couch?

"She's been unconscious for the past hour and a half Dr. Gerandy, don't tell me not to worry. I come home to find my daughter passed out in the front yard."

He paused for a minute to listen to the doctor.

"yeah, she always comes home with her boy friend Edward….. I already called his house several times. What!? Gone?" I saw Charlie's brow furrow, his mouth pressed into a thin line. "Thank you for everything Dr. Gerandy. I'll call you if something else happens."

He placed the phone on it's cradle and made his way towards me. Clear relief showed on his face when he saw that my eyes were open. That relief didn't last long; it switched to worry once again once he actually looked at me. I was curled up, shivering on the couch, my lips felt sore and chapped and my eyes just stared vacantly; open, just not comprehending.

"Oh Bells you're awake." My dad walked forward and hesitantly placed a hand on my shoulder. "What happened, sweet pea?"

It was like I couldn't control myself. I whispered to him brokenly, "Gone, just gone. No warning. He left. He's gone, he's gone forever."

"Bella, I just spoke to the doctor… Dr. Cullen was offered a great job at a hospital in California. He resigned his position at the hospital yesterday."

Sunny California. The last place a family of vampires would move to. Their cover story gave me nothing as to show were they were.

"Wait; do mean that Edward never told you?"

Tremors wracked my body as Charlie mentioned his name. He left and took my soul with him. My heart and lungs were gone as I laid on our worn couch gasping for air. This was too much. I leapt form the couch. My mind only focused on the steps that I was taking. When I burst into my room, it looked unchanged. Even with the chaos around.

Tears came in rivers soaking my pillow. He was gone, the Cullens were gone, moving off to better things: better than the dreary town of Forks, better than me; just some mortal that helped pass time.

Some birthday that this has been.

**Ahhhhhh. Chapter 3 is done! I'm so sorry to all of my readers that this took so long to get posted, but I was on vacation and had no access to a computer for a week and a half. But REVIEWS help encourage me to get chapters out faster. So PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW on my story. Thank you!**

**-Kimmy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors note: I'm so sorry for not updating! I really have no excuse other than just not wanting to write. I'm really going to try and finish this story, so please bear with me. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Leave a review ******

…**. Please?**

**Chapter 4**

**Bella POV**

Every moment hurt. Everything reminded me of him, his smile, the way his touch felt. And with every moment that passed, time didn't heal, the feeling only intensified. Sometimes, it was just easier to forget; just erase him and his perfection and the way he touched my heart. But without those memories, I really had nothing. There was no proof that he was there, nothing to show that the man I love existed. That's why I couldn't just get rid of the memories. They were all I had left of him.

And when_ he_ left, he stole my ability to dream. I never dreamed anymore, just nightmares. In the nights my nightmares would terrify me to the point that I would be screaming in my sleep too.

The first time Charlie ran in, his shot gun in hand, expecting to find me being abducted or strangled.

There was no burglar, just me fighting against a tangled mess if sheets, and my screams.

The shotgun clattered to the floor as he rushed to my side and held me close. He stayed like that, hugging me tightly, that whole first night. Whispering reassuring murmurs the way you would a young child. His arms were strong around me, just barely keeping my heart from falling into unfixable pieces. They showed that someone was there for me. Someone who knew what heartbreak felt like. The screaming occurred every night; Charlie didn't come to check on me anymore.

I woke up exhausted every morning. Worn blankets in a knot around me, as I blinked the sleep from my eyes and try to adjust to the morning light. And every morning, the realization that Edward wasn't there hit me like a punch to the stomach and sent me running to the bathroom.

This morning was no different. I was crumpled on the floor, head resting against the toilet seat. Looking down, my hands shook. Blue veins were visible through my milky skin. Even my hands didn't look healthy. But having your stomach empty itself every morning isn't exactly healthy, especially when you're not eating as much as you should.

Charlie paused in the doorway, a furrow ever present between his eyes.

"Again Bells?"

All I could do was nod. My throat burned.

"And you're _sure_ you don't want to go to the doctors?" He was worried for me.

"No dad, no. please, I'm fine, no doctors." I croaked.

He resigned with a sigh. We had been over this before.

"Alright then, I've got to get down to the station." He paused, and somewhat awkwardly added an "I love you" then headed out to work.

Back in my room I saw the calendar that was hanging so innocently over my dresser. Next to the door, right above the untouched perfume that Renee had gotten me for my birthday. Now it seemed to taunt me. Showing me just how little time had passed. September 13th practically seemed to glow compared to the other dates. Had it really only been three weeks?

Ten minutes later I was pulling out of my driveway on my way too school. The tip of the calendar was barely visible from the rim of the garbage can outside.

School drifted by in a blur. It had such a mundane schedule; it was easy to let the time bleed together. Just complete the basics: don't be late, walk through halls, takes notes, eat lunch, ignore whispers.

The whispers were constant. Everything that could be gossiped was said about what had happened.

_They did heavy drugs together. That's why there was such a strong bond between them. This depression is from withdrawal._

_He got bored and left her for some blonde in sunny California._

_I bet she's pregnant. _

Some were just ridiculous. Who cared what people thought? None of them knew the truth.

Whispers shouldn't hurt this bad. But you'd be surprised at how loud whispers could be.

It was raining heavily, no surprise there, when I pulled up at my house. I got out of the cab of my truck and shivered as the chilling wind crept its way under my jacket. Pulling it tighter around me, I jogged to get inside. _Why couldn't I ever get warm anymore? _I thought as I rubbed my hands together.

I was nearing the front porch when my legs slipped out from underneath me. I scrambled, looking for anything to catch my balance on. My hands gripped the lip of the trash can. A lot of good that did, I ended up pulling it down with me.

I sat there for a minute. Our trash can was on its side next to me. Everything in there was tied off in a bag. The only thing that had fallen out was my calendar. I watched as the rain drops soaked the paper and made the ink run in little rivulets.

It was an astronomy themed calendar, with little suns by the dates and a different picture for each month. September had a nearly black sky. All that illuminated it were the pinpricks of stars. The rain was wrecking the photo. The new moon sky was dissolving.

It looked as if the sky was bleeding. Like without its moon, the wounded sky bled.

_I can relate lonely sky._

My whole body had begun to shake. The hole in my chest was gaping; without lungs I couldn't breath, but somehow, sobs still escaped. I pulled my self up and went inside, arms wound tightly around my torso.

The hole was getting bigger; its frayed edges were growing. My back slumped against the front door as I slid down to the ground.

The pain was just too much; I just needed to numb it out.

It felt like there was cotton in my ears as I slowly stood up and made my way to the kitchen. The refrigerator door squeaked as it opened.

_We're pretty low on eggs. Might as well go and grab some things for dinner too. _

Driving was pretty automatic, it was like muscle memory. I pulled up to the only big supermarket in Forks, and walked through the automatic doors.

There weren't very many people shopping; the fluorescent light illuminated on empty isles.

I pulled a basket from the stack near the door and began loading it with necessities for tonight's dinner.

Spaghetti was one of Charlie's favorites; I had gathered everything except the bay leaves.

On my way to find them I passed by an employee, a kid around my age, arranging a display of pink boxes of tampons into a mountain. His greasy face was flushed in deep embarrassment of his task. Boxes kept falling because he was rushing, just prolonging the experience.

_I should probably grab a box. I'm going to get my period in… a few…_

_Wait. I've never been late, ever. In four years Mother Nature has given me that gift the first Monday of every month. _

I counted over the numbers in my head; once, twice, again. It couldn't be possible, no, this wasn't able to happen. The nearly full basket of food slipped out of my grasp and fell to the floor. A jar of tomato juice shattered, spraying everything in a one foot diameter with specks of red. The teenage employee, nearly finished building his mountain, started at the sudden noise, and fell right into the massive pile.

I remained frozen. _No, No, No. _A stray box tumbled down and landed at my feet. It glared up at me, taunting me of what was approximately three weeks late.

_No._

I took off running in the other direction. Just like a small child running from their problems, I ran from what I would find out to be the biggest news of my life.

_It just wasn't possible. Wasn't it?_


End file.
